Back in the day…the Magic 8 Ball neglected to tell me that it’s all going to work out. That I’ll find the life meant for me. That the failures, mistakes and heartache are all part of the PROCESS.
If only I’d known that I would end up being in a place in life that feels really GOOD, then maybe I could’ve had more FUN during the years leading up to this point.
I look back at all the times I was so DISTRAUGHT that a guy didn’t text me back or that I didn’t get that job I really, really wanted and realize now that it was all part of a bigger plan.
I was so hard on myself.
When a first date flopped I would be DEVASTATED to have to start the boyfriend search over again. When a promotion was given to someone else at work I took it so personally.
The REJECTION in relationships and in the office stung so much that I’d lose all confidence in myself. It felt like I was always looking for something different, something better or for someone to SAVE me.
What would my life have been like if I had accepted where I was at and allowed the journey to unfold without all the tears and self-doubt and shame? Would I have been able to live in the moment more?
Would I have had more trust in myself and life?
I’m now married to the PERFECT man for me and know that we met at the exact time in life that was right for both us. Had I met him 5 years earlier we probably would have never worked out.
I wish I could go back and tell myself to relax and enjoy it all more because the best is yet to come.
But turns out I’ve actually learned NOTHING and am terrible at taking my own advice.
Here I am currently wishing for bigger, GRANDER success in my career although I’m without a doubt doing the work that is my calling and that I love.
And I know that 10 years down the road I’ll look back at this time and want to yell at my younger self to appreciate it, savor it, LOVE it and not take it too seriously.
There seems to be a fine balance between having ambition for more in life and truly accepting where I’m at in this moment. The ambition is what makes me grow while the present is where real HAPPINESS lives.
It’s pretty much impossible to see the GROWTH that is occurring or the necessary changes when they are happening but when I pause and look back I can see the moments that shaped my future.
The contrast of where I used to be and where I am now helps me to be GRATEFUL every day for the life I have built.
Let’s all work on trying to find some sort of balance between gratitude and growth.