I used to watch every season of The Bachelor and although a lot of it made me cringe I found it pretty entertaining. But now, as hard as I try, I can’t get myself to watch the show any longer. I think it’s because I keep seeing the same emotional patterns in a lot of the women that are contestants on the show. And I no longer find it funny, mostly just sad.
It always blows my mind when a girl gets kicked off the show the first night and leaves in hysterics. Obviously it’s impossible to make a real connection with a dude when 25 other women are competing against you. Especially when you only get five minutes or less to introduce yourself and make a lasting impression.
But the really sad thing is that every time, without fail, as the women leave in tears they say, “Why me? I thought it was my time to find love. Why can’t I find anyone? No one will ever love me. I’m just not good enough…” They automatically find fault in themselves and quickly fall into the victim role.
First of all, how can these women expect to make an instant connection with this random bachelor? Just because they’re single does not mean that every single guy is a match. We are all compatible with different people and need to not take it personally when we don’t automatically click with someone.
What is so hard to watch is these women throwing themselves into the pit of despair because of one silly encounter with a guy who’s getting paid to make entertaining television. However, I can totally relate. I’ve been turned down for a job or a date or a sports team and I’ve quickly blamed myself for not being good enough and then proceed to think that nothing positive will ever happen to me.
It’s so hard to remember in these times that not every situation or person is right for us and that’s okay. We just need to keep searching until we find what is meant for us. The key is to stay confident and believe in ourselves and know that the right opportunity will come our way in due time.
We need to stop beating ourselves up every time one thing doesn’t go our way. We need to learn to practice equanimity in the face of hardship. Playing the victim gets us nowhere and only continues to bring the same situation our way. We will inevitably have disappointing times in life that aren’t always in our control.
Just remember…don’t be the girl on national television ugly crying because a guy you just met didn’t fall in love with you. Keep things in perspective, know who you are and be graceful as you walk through life.