Here I go again with the oversharing! When something sad, TRAGIC, disappointing or hard happens to a friend or loved one I always feel GUILTY that it didn’t happen to me or that I’m not suffering in the same way.
Even on a larger scale I feel guilty that I’m not facing a lot of the problems that many people in this world are dealing with like starvation, poverty or war.
In these situations it’s easy to confuse guilt with compassion, but make no mistake, they are very DIFFERENT feelings.
Compassion means I can sympathize with another and try to alleviate their suffering. But guilt is more the feeling that I shouldn’t be allowed to be happy or enjoy abundance because others aren’t in a good place.
It’s totally USELESS to feel this way and is helpful to no one. So when I start to feel guilty that I’m not suffering (at this moment), I instead count my blessings and give thanks for everything wonderful in my life.
I’m learning to be there for other people and sympathize with them and provide SUPPORT without feeling guilty. My guilt certainly doesn’t HELP the person who is dealing with misfortune.
If anything I need to be stronger than ever to be a shoulder to lean on. I’ve suffered in my life and surely will again and at those times I’ll need people around me who can bear the WEIGHT of my troubles. And the last thing I’d want is for them to feel guilty for their well-being.
It’s as if I think dimming my LIGHT will help others feel safe when really it’s my own way of not having to shine. Seeing a bright light in times of darkness is what we all need and knowing that joy and love are still possibilities provides HOPE for all.
The reality is that my guilt around other people’s challenges is not at all the issue. The issue is that I’m scared to allow myself to shine in fear of hurting others. However, if I never step into my full potential I won’t be able to comfort my loved one’s in times of PAIN.
We’re all on our own paths and will go through hardships at different times and feeling guilty for the life we live will NEVER do anyone good.
To do my part in ENDING unnecessary sadness in the world I will work on being the best person that I can be so I can use my resources to help and INSPIRE others.
I may never be able to understand what it feels like to suffer certain tragedies but I can be aware, informed and willing to offer my time, presence and an ear to listen.
Moving forward, I’ll gracefully replace guilt with compassion and leave that useless feeling in the GUTTER.
In other news…
I’ve been working hard on a BIG reveal for next month (can’t wait to share) and would love to have your input before I finalize the details. What’s the number one question you have regarding mindfulness and self-awareness? Please comment below.